Here’s a hint: 

Howdy gang, I’m back because I honestly forgot I had started this little blog. Easy to be forgetful when you’re busy sitting on the couch picking lint off of a blanket while the world around you is crumbling for three months!

Was that too dark? It felt dark. A little background on me before this cute little quarantine turned me into the stub of a human. I’m currently a senior in college, I waitress at a bar/restaurant literally everyday of the week, and I really like writing, shopping, hanging out with my friends, and being able to be within 5 feet of other humans without being shamed by a middle aged white woman on facebook.

I’ve always felt like I had a little bit of anxiety, especially about relationships and friendships and doing well in school and getting a job that can support me and someday a family, but other than that everything is normal! Totally normal!

This quarantine situation through a big ass microscope on all of the issues that I have with myself. I’m sure I’m not alone here, but sitting inside all day with your thoughts and feelings is not exactly my hobby of choice. Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed how quickly my anxiety can take over and how I can go from a very cool, hot girl, to chicken little feeling like the world is crashing in on me. Believe me, I’d love to be both cool and really hot all the time instead of shaking and feeling like I could hyperventilate at any moment but still hot.

For me, anxiety is really hard to cope with because I really like being seen as a peppy, upbeat person. This normally leads to me feeling anxious about my anxiety and how it will impact others. Thoughts like these are really fucking dumb because who in the world is happy all of the time? Annoying people, that’s who. 

I’ve worked on combating this anxiety a little bit. I have a group chat with my friends that is 80% panic and 80% female empowerment and reassurance. That does not equal 100% but I really don’t give a fuck. 

Besides venting to my pals I’ve started driving places and just screaming in my car in the parking lot. You can’t do it in your garage, it won’t have the same effect. Crying is also good but I get the worst headache when it happens so I try to pop some tylenol an hour or so before I think I’m going to cry. This requires a lot planning. 

Working out helps sometimes and I’m taking all the vitamins that Google says will cure me and make me a normal human being again, but I can’t tell if it’s working. In all honesty, I don’t know if there’s any kind of cure for whatever this feeling is. 

None of this is helpful and I feel bad typing it. I know that everyone is going through some kind of stress or anxiety right now. We’re literally locked in our houses while people are dying from an illness and the economy is crashing. Despite knowing all that, my anxiety feels like one of those things that only I am experiencing and no one is allowed to tell me how to handle it. Someone could honestly offer me a pill that will completely get rid of my anxiety without giving me any side effects and I probably wouldn’t accept it, that’s how personal it feels. 

With that being said and at the risk of sounding like an after school special, you’re probably not alone. I’m lucky enough to have the best friends and a supportive family that only makes me want to smash my head through a window ~sometimes~. Wherever you are and whoever you are, in a time like this someone is probably feeling just as bummed out or irritable as you are. I don’t know if that will comfort you at all, but it always makes me feel better.

My diet is that of a fourteen year old boy and 9 times out of 10 I’m reaching for coffee instead of water. By the grace of God, my skin has been relatively clear lately. 

I have über dry skin that gets even worse in the winter. My driest spots are my eyelids, chin, and forehead, you’ll see that I target those spots a little bit extra in this routine. Other than dryness, I struggle with the occasional breakout and a little hyperpigmentation on my cheeks. Now that you’ve heard the extent of my first-world skin problems, let’s jump into the skin care routine that no one, not a soul, asked for!!

STEP ONE: GET THAT MEDIOCRE MAKEUP OFF

I hate the quality of these photos so much, but my bathroom is hideous and I’m not even close to bougie enough to have one of those tiny-ass fridges. I use Clinique Take the Day Off Cleansing Balm or coconut oil to remove my makeup. I use the cleansing balm because my mom gave me this sample and I do not say no to free shit. On days where I am three layers of foundation deep, I use coconut oil to really bust it down. I think any brand of coconut oil works, I get mine off of Amazon.

STEP TWO: LET’S CLEANSE.

This is probably the most basic cleanser you can buy. If you haven’t used CeraVe, don’t contact me after reading this. Their products are mild as heck which is perfect for my sensitive skin. In high school, girls were using fancy stuff that Youtube Beauty Guru’s were recommending. I gave it a shot and broke out in hives. Now we keep it simple.

STEP 3: WHAT DOES SERUM EVEN DO?

I feel like The Ordinary is the nerd of the skin care world, and I’m into it. They list all the fancy-shmancy ingredients with names I can’t pronounce on the bottle, and then they refuse to explain what they do. Mysterious. I love it. “The Buffet” has peptides in it and after giving it a goog, turns out your skin LOVES peptides.

STEP 4: MAKE IT…..MOIST?

I’m gagging at the title of this step. I hope you are too. This moisturizer is another mild, boring choice. My personality is sparkly as fuck so I like to tone it down in my skin care. Don’t want to overwhelm anybody. It doesn’t smell like anything and it makes me look like the kind of gal who drinks 67 glasses of water a day. 

STEP 5: CANNABIS FOR YOUR PORES

This will not get you high. It’s annoying but I’m not here for false advertising. I honestly have no idea what this oil is supposed to do, but it makes me glowy as hell and that’s all I ask for. It smells a little earthy but I promise no one is sniffing your face. I recently read an Allure article that says to apply your oils after your moisturizer, so there’s another thing I’ve been doing wrong for my entire life. 

STEP 6: I ONLY DO THIS STEP BECAUSE I’M TERRIFIED OF AGING

This is the most expensive thing on the list. I don’t regret buying it because Gwyneth Paltrow makes it and I want her to come to my house and boss me around all day until I’m a level-headed, kale eating zombie. It’s actually a really nice sunscreen, it gives you a pretty, champagne-y glow. I guess it protects you from skin cancer, so that’s cool as well.

THE EXTRAS:

Heritage Store Rose Water: Every girl who has entered a Whole Foods has used this stuff. It smells like roses… That’s all it does and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Fresh Sugar Strawberry Exfoliating Face Wash: I fake tan and you should too. When I’m getting ready to begin the process of coating myself in brown foam to make myself more attractive, I exfoliate with this.

Cocokind Turmeric Stick: My friend Bri recommended this to me and she’s hot so I trust it. I rub this shit on every pimple I come in contact with and then I sit around and look like I have mustard on my face. Shit’s wild.

Howdy folks! I used to use this tumblr account as a bit of a Pinterest board. Whether I was reblogging gifs of Harry Styles or pictures of itty bitty models living their best lives on a beach somewhere, it was a stream of consciousness that I used sporadically through most of my high school and college career. 

I’m a journalism and communications double major with a minor in political science, and I’m getting ready to enter the scary world of adulthood. This spooky time in my life has been amplified as my state entered a panic over the Corona Virus. I’m working less, taking classes online, and worst of all being separated from my best friends. While this is a small price to pay when considering the ramifications of the virus, it’s still be a lonely week with plenty more to come. 

I’m repurposing this little blog as a place to share my opinions on everything and anything. Whether it’s my daily skin care routine (coming soon), my takes on the 2020 debates and presidential elections, the trends I’m loving, or mental health, I promise to always keep it real and keep it cool.

Stay tuned :-)